April - Your 9.21 blog post showed interesting choices for movies – I have also seen Rocky Horror (live), but I haven’t yet seen G.I. Joe. I love that you chose Rocky Horror because that is certainly a crazy example of ‘wild men.’ I think you made good points in your paper and I think that the G.I. Joe situation most likely happens quite often in male-dominated fields. I liked how you chose a few different examples because that let me understand diverse abnormal gender situations. There are a few grammatical and spelling mistakes – the majority of which are easily rectified by Word Spell Check. Also, you have many short sentences throughout your paper and it may be helpful for fluency to create compound sentences every now and then to break the pauses.
In your 9.28 blog post was also very interesting because I feel that you took a very different approach/understanding to the reading than I did. You made interesting points concerning step families and single parent families. Maybe using pronouns a little less often might help the reader follow and create a more professional flow to the paper. Also, at the end it would be helpful if there was a paragraph that tied all ideas together. Great job, I look forward to reading future posts! J
Tasha – I REALLY enjoyed your introduction on the 9.23 blog post. Introductions are always difficult because you have to draw the reader in, you did just that! (I liked the questions). Also, I liked that you included specific citations within your blog, I should have done that. I don’t think D’Emilio believes that homosexuality began with capitalism, but the homosexual identity emerged from capitalism – as in, people were free from interdependency (wage labor instead of having to work at home with family for family) and the necessity to form families so they were free to form identities outside of the family and work. I liked how you explained the changes that capitalism brought and I think your writing is very smooth. I really enjoyed reading it!
Your 9.21 post was also very interesting; I think you made a great choice with Enough. The movie does show a very typical situation, but the woman in the story atypically fights the situation and is successful. I think you conveyed strong points throughout the piece and were easily understandable. You may want to edit for grammar as a check at the end, but for the most part it was very well written. Awesome work, I can’t wait to read more! J
Also, sorry about the 9.21 post, I completely didn’t see it! I was super focused on making sure my essay was perfect and turning it in. I don’t usually miss assignments though so I shouldn’t miss any more (will be more carefulJ)
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